Don’t be abusive
According to author Terrence Real, in his book, I Don’t Want To Talk About It. Overcoming The Secret Legacy of Male Depression, says, “I make a distinction between active versus passive injury. Active trauma is usually a boundary violation of some kind, a clearly toxic interaction. Passive trauma, on the other hand, is a form of physical or emotional neglect…the absence of nurture and responsibilities normally expected of a caregiver; the absence of connection”.
Don’t name call
Some parents are more guilty of name calling than school bullies. Don’t call you son a brat, selfish, fat, lazy, ugly, or anything of the kind, unless you want them to think of themselves in that way. It’s ineffective communication and damaging to their self-confidence and personal growth. It can be very hard to outgrow a name they’ve been called their whole life.
Don’t expect the worst
Parents who have negative expectations or expect the worst will discourage their teenage son from trying new things or being expressive. A child can sense a parent who doesn’t believe in them. No one is perfect, especially teenagers, and sometimes parents might expect too much or have different goals than your teenager. It is probably best to offer loving guidance and to co-create real life expectations.
Don’t treat a your teen son like a child
Do you think it’s a good idea to treat your teen like a child? In reality, a teen is a young adult. Helping adolescents feel more like adults, can inspire them to act more mature, responsible and learn good decision making skills. It’s also a contradictory when a parent asks their son to “grow up”, or, “be more mature” when the parents treat them the like a little child.
Don’t embarrass
A teenage boy will sometimes feel less independent when seen with a parent. This is especially true when a parent is embarrassing or instigating in some way. If parents are the cause of embarrassment, a teen will feel betrayed or angry. Your son may ask himself, “How could mom be so insensitive”? Or, “Why would dad say that to me in front of my friends?” It’s very important for parents to treat their teenage son with a sense of empathy and respect.
For more information about your teenage sons. Go to teenagesons.com