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Have you ever considered starring in a love triangle? No, no, nothing that will land you trouble or be the basis for a network television special. This love triangle features you and your child.
Here’s how it goes: 1-1-1.
- For each direction you give {let’s get ready to go to the park},
- each correction you state {please stop whining},
- make sure there is one unconditional comment of love {I love watching you paint}.
Why? Because we all follow directions and make changes more willingly when we feel well-loved. And there are some ages & stages {hello three-year-old} that feel like all we do all day long is tell them what to do differently. Which tips everything over. Building a love triangle helps keep us in balance.
Begin building by listening. Spend a day listening to yourself. How lopsided is your triangle? Which way do you lean? {grab a piece of paper, jot notes on your phone, find a quick way to assess your current triangle. Which type of comment leads the way? Which side of your triangle needs more attention?}
On day two: think equilateral. your mantra: 1-1-1. Yesterday was about listening, today is about changing. Each time you hear yourself give a direction or a correction, make a mental note and squeeze in some love. {or whichever way your triangle needs to tip}. It may seem an impossible task to track it all day long, so start small. Try it for a few minutes. Each hour. Build from there.
By the third day you might begin to realize that geometry is great! And doing homework is always more fun when we do it with a friend, right? So keep on practicing your 1-1-1 today, and reach out to someone—another parent who would enjoy this mix of math and love. Talk to them about your progress, your stuck places. Which part of the triangle is challenging? Where is change easy? What time of day feels lopsided? Help each other out. Because when we are doing homework together? We have a better chance of solving the problems.
Day four, reflect on your feelings. What is it like to communicate with your kiddos this way? Just a word. Or two. Or three. Triangularize to remember the love.
